


you had alot of moments (that couldn't last forever)

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Prostitute!Niall, Short, niall gets raped, writer!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:30:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>niall's one of those boys who doesn't know how to love. (Title taken from How To Love by Lil' Wayne)</p>
            </blockquote>





	you had alot of moments (that couldn't last forever)

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna follow my tumblr: http://idreaminyou-youre-intoxicating.tumblr.com/

Niall is only human. So when he's attacked that night, left alone, broken and to himself he doesn't know what to do. He knows that he should move and try to find his phone in his pants pocket but his pants are strewn in front of him and his arms ache like a proper bitch. He wonders does this happen all the time and he tries to remember his brother's wife's breathing excersizes, "in one, in two, in one, in two." Breathing wasn't really working right now though. 

Niall rolled over on his back and thought of Harry who had told him it was okay, just go out and have fun with the boys. He didn't catch up with the boys, he caught up with a monster. Niall closes his eyes and tries to remember when he was babysitting his younger cousin Ashley. She was sucking her thumb and looking like a poor lost child, 

"What is it Ash?" Niall had asked his five year old cousin. She swallowed and pointed to the dark tinted closet, with it's deformed shapes Niall could understand why the little girl was frightened. He looked at her and smiled, 

"Aww it's okay Ashley. Remember there is no such thing as monsters." Niall was wrong. Niall's wrong on alot of things. Like he was wrong when he thought he liked girls, he was wrong when he thought he could have a beautiful boy and not mess up. Niall wishes on alot of things and maybe he's a little superstitious. Maybe when the clock strikes 11:11 he wishes for something bigger than himself, when he sees a shooting star he entertwines fingers with Harry and wishes for strong carresses to never wither away. 

Niall wonders how long he lays there because soon he hears his phone ring. His body aches and he wishes that he could just die right there, he doesn't know what to say! He doesn't know how to face people and say, "don't worry. I was just raped in a dirty alleyway ain't that cliche?" It's cliche but it is also true and it just happened. Niall can barely move and he knows he's forming ugly bruises in ugly places and now he feels tainted and ugly and he wonders how Harry will ever look at him the same again. 

Niall wishes that he never found Harry. That he never went to college and fell in love with that beautiful boy who could write words that made you want to reavulate your whole life. But then Harry had kissed him after winning a writing award and he had said, 

"Don't run okay. I think I've caught you." And it was such a fucking cliche thing for a writer to say but Harry was staring at him and before Niall new it he was spilling out a Lana Del Rey line, 

"Heaven's in your eyes." And Harry grinned, taking that as a sign that he could kiss Niall again and he did. Niall wonders why he didn't pull away and scream and explain to Harry that they couldn't because Niall was a curse and no matter how beautiful, perfect and worthwhile Harry was he wasn't the cure to Niall. Niall should've spoken up but he was selfish and thought that miracles happened. 

Writers don't fall in love with former prostitutes. Niall had learned his lesson. His phone keeps ringing on and off but he's just so far gone he doesn't know if he could get it if he tried. He doesn't try. 

~~ 

Harry doesn't know what comes over him when he sees Niall, his Niall lying there broken like a child. Niall's face is pale but it is littered with bruises, none of which are self-inflicted. Niall is also bleeding from his arse and Harry wants to punch, kick and scream he really does but all he does is get on his knees brokenly. He stares at Niall and touches Niall's hair, pushing it back and he wonders if it'll be like the movies. Where Niall will awaken and scramble away from him. 

Niall doesn't open his eyes but thank god he isn't dead. Harry- like a trained robot- takes him into his arms. Cradling him and trying to push past the crowd that has gathered. He wonders how long Niall has been lying there because his body is like Hitler's heart, cold. 

Harry takes Niall into his car and slowly puts him in, careful not to let anything happen to him. He slips into the car himself and sits there, eyes trained on the steering wheel and he wonders how he let this happen. He just wanted Niall to be happy, he didn't want to cage Niall in but of course humanity was not having that. 

Harry closes his eyes, breathes, than opens it again. 

"Please don't leave me." Niall whispers at the backseats. Harry turns his body slowly and carefully and stares at Niall, 

"Why would I ever?" Harry asks and Niall looks at him, all ghostly and pale. He tries to smile but he looks like he's trying his hardest not to burst into tears, 

"I didn't want him to Harry, I didn't." Niall whispers closing his eyes. Harry nods quickly, 

"I know Ni." He says and Niall turns his body so his backside is facing Harry. Harry can't look at all the bruises littering his angel's perfect skin so he shrugs off his coat and covers Niall. He turns back around and it's like someone injected a whole bunch of novacane into him because he feels absolutely numb, like he couldn't feel if he tried. 

Harry's just honestly really sad. Writers don't fall in love with former prostitutes. Niall learned that lesson for him. 

~~ 

Niall wishes he could be perfect. Wishes he could be the character Harry paints in his novel, the perfect one. With the nice hair, perfect teeth and flawless skin. Niall can't look at the damage, he can only imagine. He falls into the bed that was so well made with love and care this morning but feels cold and empty when he crawls into it. He watches Harry who paces softly, not angrily. 

Niall wishes that he deserved Harry. Wishes that Niall wasn't so out of Harry's league. Harry's all beautiful and... Harry. Niall's messed up, sad and just gone. Niall wishes that Harry could stop being a good person and kick him out, it would make him feel so much better than this feeling of dirtiness. He feels like Harry doesn't love him anymore, he's questioning if Harry ever did. 

"I'm sorry." Niall whispers and Harry stops. Abruptly stops his pacing and stares at Niall, 

"What?" He asks like he's confused out of his mind, 

"I'm sorry." Niall restates closing his eyes and than he feels a presence. He opens his eyes again to see Harry in his face, staring at him. Harry shakes his head, 

"Stop." He says and Niall does. Niall stops. Harry realizes that and stares at Niall, he doesn't realize that Niall just had all the fight extinguished out of him. You tell him to jump, he says where off. 

"Ni... I love you. There is nothing to be sorry for." He whispers stroking Niall's hair. Niall stares at him, doesn't flinch but close to throwing up. 

Niall wants to crawl out of his skin. 

~~ 

Niall used to watch Harry smoke and wonder how it's like to drift away to, into the air and become unattainable. 

A month after the incident Niall becomes just that, another cigarette puff, drifting away... away... away.


End file.
